Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
