Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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