I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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