Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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