Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
