My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize