i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
