How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
