She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
