I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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