You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
