But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
