none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
