According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
