dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
