I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
