whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
