i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
