no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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