guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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