so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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