She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
