No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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