There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
