He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
