I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
