Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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