i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
