Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm going to jail i love you
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
