You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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