I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
