i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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