whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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