He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
