I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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