Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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