...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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