real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Sext me about skeletons
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
