You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
