Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
