Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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