You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
