i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
