Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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