i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The ass gains better be worth it
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