its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
