She's JV to your varsity
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize