just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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