i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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