Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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