Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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