I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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