spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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