Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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