She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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