The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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