so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
