Everything about him screamed your future.
I love having hate sex.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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