I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
